Monday, February 16, 2015

Why My Faith Broke Down

I've Struggled this year. I'm still struggling. I'm fearful. I worry. I've found myself laughing because I realize that I'm just like Aunt Josephine on series of unfortunate events. She is the woman who is worried about everything all the way down to standing in front of the fridge because it could crush you flat. But it really isn't funny-it's frustrating, even angering.

All of this has come from spiritual growth, but now I've hit a wall that is incredibly hard to get over. In previous days my faith in God was challenging at points as it should be in every Christians life, but was easy in the respect that I could claim that no matter what I faced God was there and he will protect me because He wants what is best for me. However, the string on which my faith was hanging, was me. My faith centered around me. My idea of God's best interest was that he would keep me safe and I would be happy no matter what. Because of this kind of faith I was fearless. It was as though God was my impenetrable shield that would let nothing through.

I cannot pinpoint a time at which the first piece of this trust chipped away, but I can tell you that it didn't take long for the entire thing to fall apart. Somewhere in my Bible studying I came to realize that God doesn't offer us impenetrable shields. He doesn't offer us happiness, comfortable lives, and safety for our loved ones.

When I stopped to look at the world around me I saw murder of Christians, starvation, destitution, and sadness. I, like the average American Christian had to stop and struggle intensely with why my God was not being to them what I thought he was being to me-that happiness, comfortable, shield machine?

Then I had to stop again and put the pieces together. God is not that kind of God around me and he is not that kind of God in the Bible, so he must not be that kind of God to me. But why? I took this question to my wise husband saying "isn't God supposed to be my refuge and my strength (Psalm 46:1)?" He said: "How can God be a refuge if there is no trouble?" The end of that verse says "a very present help in trouble." That means that I must experience difficulty!

So in my self-centered mindset I asked myself once again, what about those who are being killed for their faith around the world right now? Why is he not protecting them? I've once again overlooked a word. "Strength." Why would we need strength unless we were going to experience difficulty?

Another verse that comes to mind is Romans 8:31"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-man than that, who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" This sounds great right? This is the part we remember. God will give us all things! He will give us that safety and happiness, right? Wong. Lets not forget the end of this section:

"Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels no rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

This is the Good that God has to give to us! It is his love. His love is what sent Jesus to the cross, His love is what has given us grace and mercy. This verse tells us that we will be hurt, killed, and condemned, but it doesn't matter because we have Christs love.

I'm not meant to be safe. Sure God might grant me that, but its not his duty. My faith is to be based on the fact that I have Salvation-that is the ultimate protection and no one can take that from me. So the verse "The lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me (Psalm 118:6)?" does not mean that I can't be hurt, but it does mean that man cannot take what is most precious-my salvation and the love of God.

I will have troubles everyday. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). God knows that its enough for us to trust him on a daily basis.

Just remember God does not promise to keep you and your loved ones safe, but he does promise you eternal salvation if you've put your trust in him. So please, stop telling your children that God promises to keep them safe because He doesn't. Instead, encourage them to stand strong in their faith despite the turbulent waters knowing that even in death they cannot be separated from the love of Christ if they have accepted Him as Savior. I believe it is this idea that will raise up a generation of strong Christians. Christians whose faith does not waver when things in life don't go the way they want them to. Christians who don't worry about every single little thing because they already know that life isn't a piece of cake and God isn't going to make it that way for them.


-Sincerely, not perfect and still struggling with this myself.

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